


A Case of the Mondays

by masterwords



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Weird Fluff, soft whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29215146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterwords/pseuds/masterwords
Summary: Just a soft little blurb involving Hotch on crutches and a bet to see who could guess why.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	A Case of the Mondays

**Author's Note:**

> After doing a few pretty angsty stories, I just wanted to make a tiny little fluffy thing before I dive back into the six WIPs I've got going that are all soul sucking and heart breaking.

If you've ever shown up to work on Monday morning filled with an aching sense of dread, you'll understand why Dave did what he did, and why Aaron sanctioned it. 

“You guys see Hotch this morning?” JJ asked, a strange little look on her face. Emily and Spencer swiveled in their chairs to look at her. The office was quiet for a Monday, most people were already head down lost in paperwork, trying to get ahead of it for the week. 

“No, why? What's up?” Spencer asked, tucking a renegade chunk of hair behind his ear. 

“He's got crutches in his office, I saw them leaning on his desk when I was doing my morning rounds.”

“Did you ask him what happened?” Emily asked, cocking an eyebrow. He had all weekend to get into trouble, so it could have been anything she figured, and she let her mind run away with her for a minute. Realistically, she knew it was probably something regular and boring though. JJ shook her head. 

“I was hoping one of you would know so I didn't have to...” JJ muttered, a sneaky little smile on her face. Emily rolled her eyes and Spencer just looked back at the file on his desk, completely uninterested. “Oh come on, isn't anyone the least bit curious?”

“It's Hotch” Emily began, shaking her head. “He probably just tripped on a toy or something.” She paused for a moment, and then her eyes went wide and she grinned. “Or, maybe he was watching Jack and a bunch of his little preschool buddies when all of a sudden they went rabid and mauled him. He's probably lucky to be alive.” JJ and Spencer laughed at the image she'd just painted in their minds of Hotch covered in screaming toddlers. 

“What are we laughing about?” Morgan was approaching with two coffees in hand, one for Spencer and one for himself. “I want in.” 

“Hotch is on crutches,” JJ whispered, eyes darting nervously up toward his office door. “Do you know why?”

“Nah, but you could just ask him...he probably wouldn't bite.”

“Where's the fun in that?” JJ asked, almost offended. Spencer sipped his coffee and peered up at Hotch's office. He hadn't really cared at first, but he was a little interested now. It wasn't until Dave approached the group that things really took a turn. 

“Care to make it interesting?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and sipping his coffee. 

“How so?” Morgan asked, sitting on top of his own desk so casually you'd almost forget he was an FBI Agent. He sipped his coffee and regarded Dave suspiciously – his idea of interesting could very well get them all arrested if they weren't careful, Dave was a bit of a wild card.

“Let's start a pool – everyone submit a guess and $5, winner take all. If no one is right, we use the cash to buy lunch tomorrow.” 

“Five bucks per guess?” Emily asked, pulling her wallet out of her purse and rifling through it. “I have twenty bucks, can I make four guesses?” 

“Make as many as you like. We’ll draw straws to see who asks him at the end of the day.” 

“Sold!” she said, tossing her money at Dave with a grin. Everyone followed suit and began writing out what they thought happened. What follows are the most interesting or bizarre theories on Hotch's need for crutches, but by no means is this list exhaustive. 

I.

Hotch took Jack grocery shopping. Jack's too big to sit in the cart anymore so he's walking beside the cart dragging his hands along the shelves like little kids do when he accidentally knocked a bottle of juice off of the shelf. He bends down to pick it up, but Hotch has to swerve the cart out of the way at the last second or he'd hit Jack, and his cart hits the shelf and all of the bottles come crashing down all around him, exploding grape juice and apple juice everywhere. Then he slips and hurts his knee, but since its Hotch he ignores it and tries to help the clerks clean up the mess even though they're telling him he doesn't need to. Coincidentally, he and Jack are never guying juice again. (JJ)

II.

While he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping. As of some one gently rapping, rapping at his chamber door. “Tis some visitor,” he muttered...and then he tripped on a rug and sprained his ankle. He never answered the door. (Spencer)

III.

He was playing at the park with Jack when a little girl nearby started crying, begging for someone to help her. Of course Hotch would go to her, he can't help it, and she points to her little kitty up in the tree. Without even hesitating, Hotch climbs up into the tree to rescue the kitty. He managed to pass the kitty down to the girl but then when he's climbing down he slips and hurts his leg in the fall but he's so so happy because he saved the little kitty anyway. (Penelope)

IV.

He was out at the beach for the weekend, maybe some kind of romantic getaway? And as they're walking on the beach, hand in hand, listening to the waves crash around them, he steps on a jellyfish. Maybe she (OR HE?!) has to pee on him to neutralize the venom even. I don't know. They're probably broken up now, after that ordeal. Who could blame them? I mean they had to pee on his leg. OH OH no, it was a rattlesnake while he was out hiking with his dog. Does he have a dog? He should probably get a dog, it would help him know if there were rattlesnakes nearby. Maybe it was a raccoon or a beaver. I don't know exactly but it DEFINITELY involves renegade wildlife. (Emily)

V.

Maybe Hotch was born with an extra toe and finally decided to have it removed. He's probably wearing it as a necklace now. (Emily)

VI.

He was probably out running or riding his bike and got hit by a car or something. It happens all the time. I wouldn't be surprised, people don't pay attention to runners or cyclists. (Morgan)

The pool was up to $75 by the end of the day, even Anderson and Chief Strauss found themselves sucked in, the stories getting wilder and wilder as the day wore on. Dave just kept the bowl on his desk and let people submit answers throughout the day, reading each of them before he put them into the mix. 

“Dave, you're incorrigible,” Aaron muttered after locking up his office, draping his arm over Dave's shoulders and allowing his friend to help him down the stairs. Getting up wasn't too difficult without putting weight on his injury, but coming down was another thing entirely. Everyone in the bullpen was watching them expectantly. 

“You guys could have just asked,” Aaron said, raising an eyebrow and slipping the crutches back under his arms once he'd reached the bottom of the stairs. “And Garcia...really? A kitten in a tree?”

“Who...wha....” Penelope stammered, and at once all eyes flew to Dave who smiled like the cat who had eaten the canary. “Oh, you dirty dog, you KNEW.” 

“Of course I did, I was there. You kids are so gullible.” He pulled out his wad of cash and grinned. The two of them made for the exit before everyone in the bullpen began calling out, a cacophony of voices. 

“Wait! You have to tell us what actually happened now...you owe us!” JJ pleaded. 

“Jack broke a glass in the kitchen and I stepped on a piece while I was trying to clean it up. It needed some stitches and I have to stay off of it for a few days. Your stories are a lot more fun, thank you for that. Except you Emily, you need help. Serious help.”

Emily made a sound of disgust. “I knew it would be something boring. I liked the jellyfish story better...” Emily muttered under her breath as Aaron and Dave walked out of the building, toward Dave's car. 

“You're buying them lunch tomorrow, right?” Aaron asked, sliding into the passenger seat and watching as his friend took his place behind the wheel. 

“Of course. That was a helluva way to pass a Monday.”


End file.
